People always thought I just liked movies with men in loincloths . . . even when I was 5 or 6 . . . but really, it was always about the animals.  I was always known as the kid whose favorite movies as a young child were Clash of the Titans and The Beastmaster, at a time when my sisters were watching Slipper and the Rose (a musical Cinderella, for those unfamiliar with it).  I’ve seen Clash many times since I was a child, and I still love it, though the special effects are kinda funny these days.  I haven’t seen the Beastmaster in a really long time, however, so I decided to watch it again (boy I love Netflix).  So I will share with you my current impressions as a 25 year old compared with the impressions of a 6 year old as I remember them.

Now: There’s a lot more sex in this than I ever realized . . . witches in the beginning *love* their cauldron. 

Then: In the scene where the witch magically transfers the in utero Dar from his mother to the belly of the Brahmin cow, I remember being fascinated by the blue stuff that held down the king and queen upset that the cow was killed.

Now: The adoptive father teaches Dar to sword fight, even though he was quite inept with a sword when fighting the witch.

Then: The white German Shepard who drags Dar to safety and gets shot for his trouble. I think this started a brief fascination with white German Shepards.

Now: If he can talk to animals, why doesn’t he just tell all the enemies horses to run away?

Then: The eagle that made me forever like birds of prey . . . and I was inspired to try to talk to the crows as a kid.  I did manage to become a pretty good mimic of crow noises; a talent that I have, alas, lost in my old age.

Now: He he he . . . transformation into man in loincloth (kinda Conan-ish) . . . who practices swordplay with a log . . . there is lots of running around playing with swords . . . it’s very silly.

Then: I always wanted a ferret because of this movie . . . too bad they’re illegal in CA.

Now: He’s not very original with names . . . so far its Kodo and Podo (the ferrets), I think it was something like Todo for the dog, and Ru (make sure you roll that R) for the Tiger.

Then: Boy I loved the idea of a tiger as a pet.  I always thought the tiger was supposed to be a black panther, and for some reason they painted a tiger for the part.  I never got that it was supposed to be a black tiger.

Now: There’s lots of nudity, and Dar is a lech: “You owe me your life, but I’ll accept THIS as payment” and then he kisses her.

Then: OOOH the bat guys . . . yuck.  I was always freaked out by these guys.

Now: You know, I’m starting to wonder why my parents actually let me watch this . . .

Then: I thought the movie ended at the death of the ferret . . . funny.  I do have a vague memory of the creepy bat guys making another appearance though.

So, in final thoughts, this movie has not stood the test of time.  Unlike Clash of the Titans, Legend and Labyrinth (all of which I still find quite entertaining to watch despite being pretty hokey) I don’t think I will ever watch this movie again.  I was enamored with it as a child, but unfortunately it does not have enough to keep me interested now.  The actor that played Dar, despite having a nice body, is just not that good looking (ducking a projectile from Hollywood).

--hathyr

So are you saying that Bowie’s package is more entertaining than Dar’s?

I haven’t seen this movie in forever. The only thing I remember about it is the ferret dying. I don’t remember whether I cared. I don’t know if I’ll like it when I watch it again, but I’m pretty sure this time I’ll be happy to see the ferret go.

Unfortunately, I don’t believe Dar’s package was visible at any point, so I have no basis for comparison. I have never particularly liked men in tight pants, just loincloths.

Well surely the initial Beastmaster premise was honed into a fine work of art by the time the television series started. NOTHING could last 6 seasons if it wasn’t excellent...right? Maybe?

my mom took a picture with marc singer - man whata goob - he lived off that “V” thing for years - and he couldnt pull off anything better than Beastmaster.  you mean to tell me he sat down and said,"ok i could play a serious role (in a s***** movie) like almost anything with rob lowe in the 80’s, or play a s***** role in a s***** movie”, hmm i wonder why hes on hollywood squares now